


entangled

by youdidwinsodidi



Category: Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2020-01-12 06:13:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18440690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youdidwinsodidi/pseuds/youdidwinsodidi
Summary: When did it become love?kurofai. oneshot. fluff-ish. soft.





	entangled

**Author's Note:**

> English isn't my native language. I love everyone.

Fai wasn’t sure whether he liked the silence as he peered towards the ceiling. He even found himself wondering how the situation had suddenly turned to this. Syaoran had gone missing, lost somewhere in another world, accompanied by Mokona. The mage found himself to be once again with the ninja, just like in Yama, separated from their travelling companions. At least this time Fai already spoke the ninja’s language so at least they were able to communicate with each other.

They ended up paying a small price to Watanuki in order to be transported to a world that spoke a similar language to Kurogane’s and decided they would wait there until Syaoran found his way back to them. It hadn’t been the best idea but as it turned out, it was the only possible idea.

That’s why Fai currently found himself laying alone in a single room, staring at the ceiling in complete silence. The Tomoyo from this world had known that they were coming and had given both of them a room to sleep in. The mage had first celebrated, resonating a happy _hyuu_ as they were both led towards their own rooms. But now, as he laid here completely by himself, he didn’t want to be here.

 _Is this loneliness?_ Fai pondered to himself. Was it really? It was a feeling that hadn’t manifested itself in this way for a long time. Not because he had always been surrounded by people but rather because he hadn’t minded being alone. He actually preferred to be by himself, so no one could hurt him. Of course, he had yearned for someone to be by his side, but he had never been lonely. That had been solitude.

But ever since they had started travelling without Sakura, Fai found himself growing even closer to the ninja. They had grown into some sort of domestic way of living. The two of them taking care of the kid. It was nice. They both knew that they had each other to depend on. After all, they had been through enough together and alone.

It had been hard for Fai to let Kurogane in, even after everything they had suffered together. It took them some drunk nights, where they had sat next to each other outside on the porch, moving from laughter onto serious conversations. Quiet words that wouldn’t leave their mouths if the sun had been shining down on them. Rough tears that had rolled down onto flushed cheeks softly being brushed off by warm fingertips. The heat of a sudden embracement melting the ice within his heart.

Kurogane had grown into a safe place for him, somewhere he could escape to. The ninja would always know exactly what he needed, whether it be humor, a serious conversation or someone who would have his back. It would take him one look at the mage during dinner to know that he would eventually find Fai sitting outside, staring into the black night. Sometimes they just sat in silence and sometimes they didn’t.

It had become some sort of yearning almost, the way Kurogane’s eyes softened around him. The way the ninja would smirk at him knowingly, an inside-joke between the two of them leaving his lips. Crimson eyes following his every move during battle, a gaze that never left his back. A soft touch on his back before they attacked their opponent, a reassuring touch before they parted. An outcry, demanding an answer, to know whether Fai was okay.

It had become co-dependence. Because sometimes Kurogane would break and Fai knew that he was the only one Kurogane would allow to see. It was undeniable trust as Fai quietly had wrapped his arms around the ninja from behind as tears rolled down on the rough skin. It was quiet whispers and comforting words that would never leave the room. Fearful crimson eyes, a larger hand latching onto a skinny arm, asking, begging, him to stay. To not leave him by himself. Fai would never. Fai would always stay. 

It had become a woven web that couldn’t be untangled anymore. Fai had decided that when Kurogane had absently ran his fingers through the mage’s long blonde locks as they had been enjoying a lazy Sunday. They were sat on the grass, Fai’s head next to the ninja’s crossed legs, who was in the middle of enjoying a book. The soft touch of warm fingertips grazed against his skull and even though the ninja was brushing out the tangles in his hair, Fai knew that the tangles between them were growing.

It had become an open invitation for Fai to stay with him after this all ended. The mage knew even though the ninja hadn’t even voiced the option yet. There were curious looks the ninja shot him whenever something had been said about _home_. Eyes that never left him as Fai tried to smile past the conversation, steering away from confrontation. Fear of rejection from both sides allowing the elephant to grow.

It had become a mess; Fai learned every time they became closer to each other. As the mage was baking a cake in the kitchen, Kurogane had leaned over his shoulder and made a fake complaint about taking so long. Could the ninja do better? He insisted he could. That’s how their kitchen ended up a mess, both of them covered in flour, laughter filling the room. And as Fai gazed into the ninja’s crimson eyes, joy sparkling in his orbs, Fai knew it was getting messy.

It had become lingering touches and everything else. Their travelling companions never once questioned when the two of them started sharing a bed rather than just sharing a room. Unasked questions were answered as Kurogane’s arms eventually found their way around the mage’s body, his head finding its rightful place in the crook of Fai’s neck. Soft, content sighs and skinny fingers encircling a larger arm. Sudden shudders as the warmth disconnected from him in the morning, quietly, allowing Fai to continue sleeping as he went to make breakfast. Lingering fingertips brushing his forehead gently as if the ninja never had wanted to leave in the first place.

It had become his downfall, Fai knew. His theory was quickly confirmed when his real name suddenly had left Kurogane’s lips. The mage had choked up, fear and panic engulfing him and holding him hostage. Reassuring touches and more secrets spilled. Promises of never calling him by his fake name ever again when it was just the two of them. Invitations to call the ninja the name he hadn’t heard in a while either. Heavy promises covered in raw tears, flourishing inside his heart to make him feel whole again.

It was stolen looks, small smiles and knowing gazes between the two of them as they were surrounded by others. It was an understanding, a connection that both of them couldn’t really pinpoint. Both ready to sacrifice everything they had for each other, ready to step in front of the other to save their life. It was the both of them, just the two of them, and no one else.

Once upon a time, Fai would have wanted to escape but now it had become something he had wanted for a long time. It had become _love._ So, as he laid there in his single room, his gaze fixated on the ceiling, tears started rolling down his cheeks as he came to that realisation. It hadn’t just been loneliness; it was fear as well. Fear of being abandoned, fear of losing everything he holds so dearly once again and fear of being rejected. And Fai knows that this was just one night, and Fai knows his fear is irrational.

He rapidly rubs his hands against his eyes, trying to rid himself of the tears. Anger was boiling inside of him as he fought against the engulfing fear. _Stop being so pathetic_ , he thought to himself as he dropped his head into his hand.

“Oi,”

The loud voice demanded Fai’s return to reality, snapping his head up to meet its source. Tearful and angry blue eyes met worried crimson eyes somewhere in the middle. Kurogane’s upper body was peeking through the slightly ajar door, his hand wrapped around the door knob. Protecting mechanisms kicking in, Fai pulled his knees to his chest and rested his head on top of them.

“Yuui,” the ninja breathed out as the quickly flew open and before Fai could even protest, Kurogane was sitting on the bed next to him. Crimson eyes quickly scanned the blonde for any physical injuries and then tried to meet the blue eyes again. But Fai wouldn’t let him, his head long buried between his arms and knees.

“Oi–” Kurogane tried again, his hand softly touching Fai’s upper arm. Fai first debated on swatting it away but then decided against it. The lingering heat on his arm was almost offensive, marking a pain that was going to haunt him for the rest of the night.

“Please leave,” Fai whispered and surprised himself as the words left his lips. Didn’t he want the ninja to stay? Hadn’t that been the entire point? Allowing Kurogane to stay, giving in into his comfort, whispering the real reason of his pain, would that be too hard? How could he ever risk throwing everything he once had away? It had become love for him, but had it become the same for the other?

“I just want to be alone right now.”

The blonde felt the ninja’s eyes tighten, his gaze on the wizard sharpening. He knew the pain that he had just inflicted on the other and was ready to smack himself. He mentally chuckled to himself, he was already punishing himself with mental torture. No more words were spoken as the ninja got up and left the room in silence, leaving Fai to his own thoughts again.

As his senses started to calm down, Fai realized just what he had done. He instantly regretted letting his emotions taking the upper hand in his decision taking. The mage sighed and pushed himself up from the bed, his toes softly connecting with the ground first. He lightly carried himself to the door, closing it behind him as he stepped into the hallway.

He knew Kurogane would be waiting outside for him, on the porch. It was neutral ground for them. He knew the ninja had already noticed his presence, but he still allowed the mage to quietly sit himself down next to him. Minutes passed by as they sat in silence next to each other, just gazing out in front of them basking under the light of the moon.

“Youou,” Fai started quietly as he closed his eyes. “—I’m sorry.” The mage reopened his eyes to look up to the ninja who had shut his eyes closed in response. The mage was sure he had seen the pain cover the other’s facial features. 

“It doesn’t matter,” Kurogane huffed and reopened his eyes to eventually avoid Fai’s sad stare. 

“I didn’t mean to push you away.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me that you didn’t want to sleep by yourself?”

Fai smiled to himself, a smile that was almost mental. Should he have expected any less of Kurogane? The man could see right through him, knew him like the back of his hand. He had allowed the other one to become so close to him, to a point where the ninja knew Fai’s emotions better than himself. It had become messy.

“I was scared to what that confession would entail.” Fai eventually whispered in response, wincing.

“What do you mean?” Kurogane finally turned to look at the mage again, his hand encircling the mage’s arm in a comforting manner. Soft brushes of his thumb sparked Fai’s senses back into action. 

“Don’t you see what I mean? It’s exactly this. It’s us; We have become messy, entangled. Is it normal that I find myself yearning for you to look at me?” Fai voice was heavy, deep and demanding as few raw tears found its way again on his cheeks.  

“Yearning for your touch, even if it’s just a lingering one, just a brush whenever I see you. Whenever you wake up earlier than me, is it normal that I just want to pull you back down and roll back into your arms? To hide us away from the world? To be able to tell you soft whispers to remind you that everything will be okay. That I’ll be here for you. Forever. _God,_ tell me, what does it mean that whenever I see you, I feel butterflies? What does it mean if I tell you that _I love you,_ Youou? Will you run away? Will you lea—”

Fai was interrupted by two large hands cupping his cheeks and dragging him closer to the ninja, his body collapsing softly into the broad chest. When their lips finally met, it wasn’t anything like Fai had expected. Kurogane’s lips were soft and rough at the same time. The kiss was urgent though, as if it was needed to be able to say all the words in one second that couldn’t have been said fast enough.

And Fai knew that there was no way back now.

“Yuui,” Kurogane said when they broke apart, his sharp eyes a little softer than usual. His arms encircled Fai, allowing the smaller man to rest his body against Kurogane’s chest. “I thought you knew. I thought you knew that I love you. I thought you knew from the moment I swore I would protect you wherever you went. That I would always be here for you.”

“Youou—”

“Look, I know I’m not the best with words,” Kurogane continued as he looked down to meet the mage’s blue eyes. “But I love you. That’s all that matters. Now, let’s go back to bed.”

Leaving no room open for discussion, Kurogane stood up and pulled the mage along with him. No words were said as the ninja led them back into Fai’s single room. No words were said as both of them laid down next to each other, Kurogane’s arms finding their way around the smaller body. No words were said as a small smile found itself playing on Fai’s lips.

They had become so entangled over time; their lives woven together in many ways possible. But as Fai entangled his lower legs with Kurogane’s, he knew that this entanglement was his favorite. The ninja had woven himself into his heart, allowing him a place to be himself.

And Kurogane had been right, Fai should have known it all along that no words needed to be said. He should have known it when he had started yearning and his yearnings were responded to. He should have known when he felt Kurogane’s eyes on his back everywhere. He should have known when they had become co-dependent, whenever Kurogane found his way into the mage’s arms. He should have known after the ninja had given him the many open invitations to go _home_ with him. To create a home with him.

He should have known when it had started to get messy. Whenever Kurogane had started smiling smiles at him that were reserved for only him. Whenever promises and secrets had been exchanged and their souls exposed to one another. He should have known because of the lingering touches, the way that Kurogane had allowed him so close that he even encircled him every night, protecting him, keeping him close. He should have known by the stolen looks, the way that everyone disappeared around them. How the ninja only had eyes for him.

He should have known but it didn’t matter that he hadn’t.

Because as he laid there, his legs entangled with Kurogane’s, his love boiling inside his heart, butterflies desperately trying to find their escape from his tummy, the whole world could have disappeared. Even though it might be messy and difficult, he would always find his home in Kurogane’s arms. And as Fai said those three words once again, Kurogane pulled him closer and entangled their future forever.

“I love you.”

 

 


End file.
